Fourteen Page 7

  “Anna,” I heard Kyle say from behind me.

  I held up a hand, my eyes still glued to the scene in front of me.

  I should have seen this coming. It was the next logical step. It actually wasn’t as bad as some of the stuff they could have done, but it was still a shock to see it written so boldly.

  I ran my hand down the front of my blue sweater and did the same with my other. I pulled on the bottom of my shirt, trying to make it longer somehow, even though it already hit mid-thigh. Anything that would hide the small roll that showed through the fabric. In all honestly, I wanted to pull the shirt over my head entirely, but pulling it over my head would leave me vulnerable to unseen attacks. I’d be exposing more of my body, and they would be able to see it.

  Ashley placed her hand on my arm. “Anna.”

  I flinched away from her, briefly wondering if she was in on it. She was one of them; she could’ve known all about it. Kyle too. Maybe they were both in on it; maybe the person who had done it had just finished, and they needed to buy a little time.

  I didn’t know what to do. I felt as though I couldn’t do anything but stand there and stare at it. It didn’t seem real. Why would someone do this? Why did they do any of the things they’d ever done to me in the past?

  “Because you’re a cow,” I whispered, answering myself.

  “Anna, don’t believe—” Kyle said.

  “Don’t,” I whispered and turned around. “Just . . . don’t.”

  I walked between Kyle and Ashley with my head down. The blood rushed in my ears and tears filled my eyes as I walked down the hallway, roughly shoving through the double doors and back into the parking lot.

  I didn’t care if I missed school. I didn’t care about anything except for getting out of there. I couldn’t stand to be in that place for one more minute, and the last thing I wanted to do was go through an entire day with them.

  “Anna?”

  I heard his voice but kept walking, my head still down as I stared hard at the pavement. I didn’t want to be around anyone right now or risk damaging any progress Evan and I might have made last night. If there were even a small fraction of a chance that Evan and I could be friends, then this would definitely not be the time to talk to him.

  I was quick to get back into my car and shove the keys into the ignition. Staring straight ahead, I pulled out of my space and drove toward out of the parking lot, blinking and sniffling the entire way. After making it home in record time, I jumped out of the car, dashed into the house and up the stairs, collapsed onto my bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

  The tears started, the sobs came, and I wrapped my arms around myself in a sad attempt to keep myself together.

  I shouldn’t have walked out. I should’ve stayed and dealt with it. Running away didn’t prove anything and probably only made them all happy that they’d gotten to me.

  I didn’t understand what I’d done this time. The only thing I’d done differently was talk to Evan, and that was mostly because I had to. He’d done the rest and had seemed to truly want a chance to get to know me. Why had I been cut down for what he’d wanted in the first place?

  I sniffled and wiped my cheeks, staring at the wall of my bedroom and curling into the fetal position on my bed.

  I didn’t know what time it was. I didn’t know how long I’d been up in my room. School could’ve been over for hours now, and I wouldn’t have known the difference. Hell, it could’ve been early Saturday morning, and I wouldn’t have realized. The dark sky outside my window told me it was nighttime.

  I sighed heavily when I heard footsteps outside my bedroom door and sucked in a shaky breath, once again wiping off the tears from my cheeks with the sleeve of my shirt. There was a knock on the door but I didn’t move, figuring my dad had gotten home and wanted to know why I hadn’t bothered to come down or fix dinner for us.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep and hoping that he would just go away when I heard the door open. A few seconds later, I heard it close again, and I sighed, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

  “Anna?”

  I jumped as I heard a voice that clearly did not belong to my dad and turned to face the door. His profile was visible from the streetlights outside my window, and I tensed.

  “What?” I managed to say, my voice rough and my throat raw. “How’d you get in here?”

  “Your father let me in.”

  Huh. He was home. Glad he came up to see if I was all right.

  “What do you want?” I curled up even tighter under my comforter and stared blankly ahead.

  “I wanted to see if you were all right.”

  I looked up when I heard the floorboards creaking underneath his weight as he walked over to me. I kept my eyes on his dark figure as he lowered himself to the floor, resting his arms on the edge of my bed and placing his chin on his hands.

  “I’m fine.”

  “It shows,” he said.

  I stared at him, his face partially hidden in shadows.

  “I would’ve been here earlier,” he said after a few moments of silence, “but coach kept us later for practice because it was a Friday.”

  “Did you have anything to do with it?”

  “No!” he exclaimed. “No . . . ,” he repeated, quieter.

  We once again sat in silence. “Who was it, Evan?” I whispered.

  He sighed heavily and tilted his head to the side. I huffed, closing my eyes as he reached out to rub his thumb over my cheek.

  “Brittany and Grace,” he whispered back.

  “Why?”

  “Because of me.” He pushed his hand back and into my hair, his thumb still stroking my cheek. “I’m sorry, Anna.”

  I closed my eyes when I felt them water again and turned to bury my face back into my pillow. He slid his hand to the back of my head, his fingers still tangled in my hair, and I did my best to keep my emotions under control.

  It was bad enough that he’d caught me in my room, sitting in the dark and moaning over my bad day. It would be even worse if he saw me cry.

  He kept his hand in my hair, gently scratching the back of my head as I did my best to either smother myself or calm myself down. I hadn’t quite figured out which I wanted to do more.

  “What do you say to dinner or something?” he asked after a while.

  I turned my head and his hand fell out of my hair and away from me. I looked over at him through blurry eyes.

  “Is this guilt?” I asked, my voice shaking.

  “Part of it,” he said. “I said I wouldn’t let this happen, and it did.”

  “What’s the other part?”

  “The other part is that my new friend needs a friend and I’m . . .” He exhaled, placed his hand on my back. “I’m here for you.”

  “This isn’t just another way to humiliate me somehow?”

  “No.”

  I stared at him, and he caressed my back.

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  “How about we go see a movie then?”

  “It’s a Friday night. Don’t you have plans?”

  “I did, but I don’t anymore.”

  “With Brittany?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Evan—”

  “A few days ago I wouldn’t have thought anything about this,” he admitted, still scratching my back. “I probably would’ve laughed, said you deserved it, and never would’ve given it another thought.”

  I gasped and buried my face back into my pillow.

  “A few days ago, I wouldn’t have thought about how this would have made you feel because it didn’t matter to me. A few days ago, I didn’t know you.”

  “You don’t know me now,” I said.

  “I’m trying to. And I was hoping that you were trying to know me, too.”

  Looking over at him, I flicked on the lamp on my bedside table, hissing when the sudden invasion of light hit my eyes. He grunted and rubbed his eyes as I propped myself up on my elbows and stared at my headboard.
>
  “Can I ask you a question?” I glanced at him.

  “Yeah.”

  “You . . . hated me a few days ago. How did that change so quickly?”

  “I never really hated you, Anna. I just didn’t think about anyone’s life but my own. I never gave much thought to anyone that wasn’t in my circle, and I didn’t think about what happened once everyone went home for the day. It’s like I . . . I separated it, I guess. My home life is different from my school life, and I just thought that everyone else did the same thing.”

  He stared at me with something very close to a pout on his face.

  “Words are powerful weapons, Evan.”

  He looked away and reached up again, sliding his hand underneath my pillow. He grabbed my hand, pulling it out into the light and turning my wrist to look at the yellowish bruises that were still on my skin.

  “I know that now.” He shifted, rising up and gently covering my wrist with his other hand. “I’m trying to make it right.”

  “I’m really trying to believe you.” I looked down at our hands. “But it’s going to take more than a few days for me to trust you when I’ve got years of hurt piled up.”

  “I know that,” he said. “I’m just asking for that chance, Anna. You said that I had it.”

  “You do.”

  “So come out with me tonight. We can go see a movie, and if you’re hungry after that, we’ll go out to dinner. It’s a start, right? We need a start.”

  I stared down at him. He squeezed my hand, stood up, and then helped me off my bed. Then, without warning, he wrapped me in his arms and buried his nose in my neck. I stood stiffly against him, staring over his shoulder at my wall in shock.

  “I really don’t deserve it. Thank you.”

  “S-sure.” I stepped away from him.

  “Will your father mind?”

  “I didn’t even know that he was home before you told me he let you in.”

  “I’ll take that as a no.”

  I pulled on the hem of my sweater, nervously looking around my bedroom, and for the first time, I realized that Evan Drake was in my bedroom. The clutter and the drawings I’d had taped to the walls since I was little were out in the open, and he could now finally see it all.

  Looking at it now, I really needed to redecorate. This room belonged to someone that was maybe entering high school, not getting ready to graduate and go off to college.

  “I just need to use the bathroom,” I said. “You can . . . uh, you can wait up here or downstairs if you want.”

  “I’ll wait in the hallway.”

  I followed behind him as he walked out, detouring into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. Then I leaned against it and closed my eyes tightly.

  I could do this.

  My face fell as we pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater, and I heard Evan curse under his breath as he turned off the car.

  “Did you plan this?” I asked, staring at Steve, Brittany, Grace and Adam as they stood at the entrance to the theater.

  “What? No! I had no idea they’d be here, Anna.”

  I looked over and stared at him for a few moments. Deciding I could trust him, I looked out the windshield and said, “Can we go somewhere else?”

  He chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully, looking at his friends and then back at me.

  “No. Come on.”

  “Evan, I don’t want to deal with them.”

  “I have an idea.”

  “What is it?”

  “Just get out of the car, okay? Trust me.”

  I stared at him in disbelief as he got out of the car. I threw my hands in the air and then pushed open the door and got out.

  The day really couldn’t get much worse at this point, so I might as well let him do whatever it was that he was so intent on doing.

  He rounded the front of the car and stood in front of me, making sure to lock eyes with me as he reached out and grabbed my hand. I raised an eyebrow at him as he linked our fingers together and wondered if he could hear the stampede in my chest right where my heart was.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, stretching out the words.

  “We’re going to see a movie,” he said with a shrug.

  “You’re . . . we’re . . . they’ll think we’re on a date.”

  “So then I guess we’re on a date, aren’t we?”

  I gaped at him.

  What?

  “Run that by me one more time,” I managed to say, circling my finger in the air and blinking at him.

  “Then I guess we’re on a date,” he said.

  “To them, right? That’s just what we’ll say to . . . to them, right?” I stuttered, looking away from him and over to the group.

  Huh. I didn’t know Grace smoked.

  I closed my eyes, and placed my hand on my forehead. There were more important things going on right now, and I was wondering about Grace’s smoking habits? Evan Drake was either taking me on a date or getting me all worked up just to humiliate me. Both of these scenarios made me nervous as hell, and after the day I’d had, right about now I wished I were back in my bed.

  “Well . . . no.”

  I snapped my head in his direction and dropped my hand to my side.

  “Are you serious right now?”

  “Yeah.” He looked down at his feet and tapped his toes against the pavement.

  “You’re not feeling right, are you?” I asked.

  “I’m feeling just fine, Anna.”

  “This is insane. You’ve lost your mind.”

  “Or I found it.”

  “You’re like Jekyll and Hyde!” I exclaimed.

  “Keeping you on your toes, though, right?” He gently swayed our still joined hands and laughed nervously.

  “Oh, I’m on something, all right. Am I awake? Am I even really awake?”

  “Yes, you’re awake.” He stepped in front of me. “Give in a little, Anna, please,” he whispered.

  I closed my eyes and acquiesced.

  He was trying, and now I needed to as well. Friendship—or whatever we were doing right now—was a two-person effort, and I needed to give in.

  Opening my eyes, I said, “This isn’t a joke to you.”

  “I’m being dead serious right now.”

  “You’re really taking me out on a date.”

  “I’m really taking you out on a date,” he said, grinning down at me.

  Yes. My heart had officially stopped.

  “Okay,” I said with a shaky voice.

  “Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.” He grinned, backing away and pulling on my hand as he walked to the entrance of the theater. “Ignore them, all right?”

  “Yeah, sure. Ignore them. Right.”

  “Hey.” He stopped us before we’d taken more than three steps, and I swallowed hard. “Just relax.”

  “I don’t know how,” I admitted sheepishly. “Not around you, not around them. I just . . . I don’t know how to.”

  He sighed, and I half expected him to call off the whole thing. I was very much ready to walk back to the car until he spoke.

  “And that’s my fault.” I stared at him. “I’m so sorry, Anna.”

  I shrugged, looking away from him and over to the entrance. His friends were openly gaping.

  “We’ve been spotted,” I stage whispered.

  He looked over his shoulder and then back at me, squeezing my hand.

  “Ready to start our date?”

  “It’s gonna take a minute to get used to that.”

  He laughed, once again leading me toward the entrance. I squared my shoulders as we approached them, my heart beating rapidly, and I wondered briefly if all this activity was going to give me a heart attack. I did my best to ignore the group.

  “You ditched me for her?” Brittany sneered.

  “Yeah,” Evan said simply. “I did.”

  “Are you going blind, dude?” Adam asked, stealing the cigarette from Grace.

  “N
ope. In fact, I’m pretty sure my eyes are wide open.”

  “This has gotta be some kind of charity thing, right?” Steve asked, stepping in front of Evan. “Dude, we’ve never gone down this road. There are plenty of other girls—”

  “Yes, there are. I wanted to be with Anna tonight.” He shrugged, and I did my best to ignore them. Easier said than done, but at least Evan wasn’t agreeing with them this time. “See you all Monday morning.”

  “I’m calling you tomorrow. I wanna know what the fuck you’re on tonight,” Steve taunted, tapping Evan’s shoulder before moving out of the way.

  “My answers won’t change, Steve.”

  “You have,” Grace scoffed.

  “Maybe so,” he said, and we started toward the doors again as he yelled over his shoulder, “Maybe I don’t wanna be an asshole anymore.”

  With that, he pulled me into the theater after him, and we stood in line for tickets. I didn’t know what to say, so I kept my eyes focused on the brightly lit board with all the movies listed. He was still gripping my hand, and I jerked when he flexed his fingers. I let go of his hand and took a step to the side.

  “Hey,” he said, reaching out for me again. “You were just crushing my hand there.”

  “I was?”

  He took a step toward me again, sliding his arm around my shoulders and pulling me back to him. I leaned against him, not having any idea what to do with my hands or how to act or what I was even supposed to say. He made me so nervous that not all the dating rules I’d learned in the past, applied here.

  Now I was in an alternate universe because that would make more sense than this crazy night I was having. Nothing like this had ever happened to me. Guys like Evan Drake did not hold my hand or put their arm around me, and they definitely didn’t take me out on dates.

  “You’re stronger than you appear to be,” he continued, moving up when the line did.

  “Have to be. Sorry.”

  “Me too. What do you want to see?”

  “Comedy,” I said. “Definitely comedy.”

  “You read my mind. Comedy it is.”

  He paid for my ticket, he bought me a box of snowcaps and a drink, he was the one to hold my hand all night, and he was the one that kept an arm around my shoulders as we walked out when the movie was over.