Fourteen Read online

  I groaned and threw the remote back onto the coffee table and rubbed my hands over my face.

  This was insane. It wouldn’t prove anything. I was sure he was very much aware of that, and would have a grand ol’ time telling all of his little minions everything he thought he’d be able to get from me.

  He probably didn’t even have a retainer. His teeth were gorgeous. Straightest teeth I think I’d ever seen. If the college thing didn’t work out for him—assuming he was going to college—he could star in one of those toothpaste commercials.

  “Anna Weller, you are an idiot,” I declared and stood up.

  I almost jumped through the roof when I heard a knock on the door and sat back down, my pulse racing. There was another knock and I stood up, slowly making my way to the door. Exhaling heavily, I turned the doorknob and yanked back on it. Evan stood in the doorway, shifting his weight and tapping his hands against his thighs.

  “Hey,” he said, chuckling nervously.

  “Hey.”

  I moved out of the way, and he walked in, looking around the hallway as if he hadn’t already seen it plenty of times.

  “So . . .” I stepped back to his side and pushed my hair behind my ear. “What did you . . . what’d you wanna do?”

  “Well . . . I hadn’t really thought of that. I guess . . . we could talk, right?” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at me.

  “Yeah, sure.” I motioned to the living room and waited as he walked ahead of me and plopped down into the spot on the couch I’d just been sitting in. I sat on the other end and turned to him. “How was the rest of your day?”

  “It was school, you know? Sucked. Yours?”

  “Sucked, too,” I said.

  “Did anyone . . . you know, say anything to you? About me?”

  “Just Christina.” I looked down at my lap. “Everyone else just gave me dirty looks.”

  “Sorry.”

  I looked up at him again, shrugging before looking down to my lap.

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “I was the one that dragged you into an empty classroom.”

  “Why’d you lock the door?” I asked, looking up at him once again.

  “It kept the conversation strictly between us, didn’t it?”

  “Well, yeah, but everyone else is thinking that we . . . I don’t know what they’re thinking, but it wasn’t that we were just having an innocent conversation about our project.”

  “Is that you what you told Christina?”

  “No. I told her that we were going to hang out tonight.” He winced. “You don’t want anyone else to know.”

  “Anna . . .”

  “I knew this wasn’t going to work.” I pulled my legs up onto the couch. “Christina isn’t going to say anything.”

  “It’s not that I didn’t want anyone else to know. I just don’t know how they’re going to take it.”

  “Is it at all possible for you to think for yourself?” I asked, looking at him. “Forget about the idiots who cling to your every word for one second? Did you ever think that maybe I’m a pretty awesome person? That we’d get along well if you could just stop for one second to realize it?”

  “They’re my friends, Arianna,” he said through his teeth.

  “They’re idiots, Evan,” I shot back.

  “You’re doing the same thing to them that you’re accusing me of. You’re aware of that, aren’t you?”

  I stared at him and snapped my mouth shut.

  “At least I have a legitimate reason to not like them,” I said. “There is no reason whatsoever that they couldn’t talk to me or get to know me.”

  “Like I’m doing right now.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do you always have to—” He rubbed his forehead before glaring at me. “I feel guilty, Arianna.”

  “Then get out,” I said, looking away from him and staring at the bottom of the television stand.

  I should’ve been used to getting hurt by now, but every time he opened his mouth and said something like that, it just got ten times worse.

  “You can’t just send me away every time I say something that you don’t want to hear!”

  “You haven’t stopped to listen to anything I might’ve said to you in the past so why in hell should I listen to you?” I snapped.

  “Because I’m here!” he shouted. “I’m here, trying to make it right with you! You have to give me some room to breathe!”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because we can’t make this work if you don’t give too! I know that you’re pissed and you have every right to be, but dammit, Arianna, I can’t do this completely on my own.”

  I blew out a deep breath and closed my eyes, resting my chin on my knees and doing my best to clear my head.

  “Anna . . .”

  “Give me a minute,” I said, holding up my hand.

  I could see his point. I wasn’t making it easy for him, and while he didn’t deserve easy, it wasn’t fair that I kept making him jump through hoops if I wasn’t really going to make an effort. I had years of anger stored up for him and his friends, but at least he finally had found the guts to make an effort with me.

  “You need to understand that I don’t understand anything,” I said after a few moments of silence. “I don’t understand why I’m always the target, and I don’t understand why you’re trying to get to know me now.” I sucked in a deep breath. “No, wait. You feel guilty. Right.”

  “I do,” he said, and I felt my heart shrink back just that much further in my chest. “But I wasn’t lying when I said that you were right and that you didn’t deserve anything we’d ever done to you. I do want to know you, Arianna.”

  “Then you need to stop using my full name because I will hurt you.”

  I opened my eyes and looked to find that he was staring at the palms of his hands.

  “Steve is an asshole,” he said “There’s no excuse for him and what he said about you sitting—”

  “I get it,” I interrupted and wrapped my arms tightly around my legs.

  “You’re not that big, Anna.”

  I scoffed and rolled my eyes, tightening my hold on my legs and staring at the remote on the coffee table.

  “You seemed to agree with him a few days ago.”

  “You ran out of the classroom before you could hear me tell him that he was being an ass.”

  I slowly looked at him to find that he was still staring at his palms.

  “What?”

  “That was uncalled for.” He turned his hands over only to stare at the backs of them instead. “He wanted to get a rise out of you, and he got it.” He looked at me, staring directly into my eyes. “I told him that he was being an ass.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything when he asked about me . . . molesting you?”

  I nearly choked on the word.

  “I was being an asshole too.” He conceded turning his hands back over and flexing his fingers.

  “Why did you say that you thought I was beautiful as your lie?” I asked, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

  “I copped his attitude for the rest of the day, and everyone else teased me about defending you. I was pissed, and I took it out on you because at the time, you were the one that caused all of it for me. I took a lot out on you, and I shouldn’t have.”

  “I don’t want to be your scapegoat anymore.”

  “And I’m going to try really hard to make sure that you aren’t.”

  “Okay.” I went back to staring at the coffee table, still chewing on the inside of my cheek as I felt him shift around on the other end of the couch.

  “Hey, can we start over?” he asked after a few silent moments.

  I shrugged and picked at the hem of my worn-out jeans. “Yeah, whatever.”

  I stared at him with my mouth open when he stood up and headed for the door. I rolled my eyes at his back and rested my chin on my upraised knee when he walked out. I guess his version of starting over and mine were
very different. At least my version kept him in the same room.

  “Jerk,” I said under my breath.

  Once again, I heard a knock at the door. Snapping my teeth together, I unfolded myself from the couch and pulled open the door to find Evan standing on the other side.

  “Anna!” he exclaimed with a smile on his face.

  I blinked at him. He seriously walked outside and knocked on my door again.

  “You are some kind of crazy.” I laughed.

  He shrugged innocently, and I moved out of the way, letting him back into the house. I stared at the back of his head, not sure what I was supposed to do now that we were in the same position we’d been in a few minutes ago.

  “Do you want something to drink?” I asked finally, tapping the balls of my hand against my thighs.

  “Mountain Dew?”

  I went to the fridge, grabbed the can and a bottle of tea for me. When I returned to the hallway, he was nowhere to be found, so I peeked around the stairs. He was sitting back on the couch and staring at the television. I shuffled over to him and handed him the can before taking my place back on the couch and twisting the top off my tea.

  “What’s your favorite show?” he asked, turning to look at me as he popped the top of the can.

  “Grey’s Anatomy, I guess.”

  “What’s the obsession everyone has with doctor shows?” he asked, his face serious as he turned to me and cupped the can in his hands. “They’re all the same.”

  “In a sense,” I agreed, and turned to him. “The storylines are different, though. So are the personal lives of the characters.”

  “How many times can you watch a doctor go in for surgery, though, honestly? My mother loves that show too, and I just don’t understand the appeal.”

  I laughed and shrugged, sipping from my bottle.

  “The actors are pretty.”

  “Oh!” He chuckled. “Pretty actors make all the difference.”

  “Usually.”

  “I see.”

  “What’s yours?”

  “Ghost Hunters.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him, and he fidgeted, tapping against the sides of the can.

  “Really?”

  “It’s the only show I watch. Sherri has this thing with ghosts and all that.” He shrugged again. “It’s interesting.”

  “My dad and I used to watch that all the time,” I said. “Now it’s all documentaries and history and poker.”

  “Your father watches poker?”

  I chuckled. “Sometimes he’ll get together with some of his buddies and have a poker night.”

  “Here?”

  “Oh, no.” I scoffed, waving at him. “He always goes to their place.”

  “You and your dad don’t seem close.” I looked up at him and shrugged, picking at the green label on my bottle. “I figured that you would be. Since it’s just the two of you . . .” His voice trailed off.

  “You figure things a lot for not knowing me that well.”

  “Sorry.” He looked down and brought the can up to his mouth.

  We sat in silence once again as he played with the top of his can, and I stared down at my lap in an attempt to think of something to talk about.

  “You said that you cooked, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Can you make homemade macaroni and cheese?”

  “Of course.”

  “Will you show me?” he asked.

  “You seriously want me to teach you how to make mac and cheese?”

  He shifted uneasily.

  “It’s my favorite and the only version I ever liked was my grandmother’s. She passed away three years ago, and my mom just can’t . . .” He took another sip. “She tries.”

  “All right,” I said, standing up. “I’ll show you how to make it.”

  He grinned—nearly stealing my breath—before he popped up. The way his face lit up and even the way his eyes seemed to brighten and widen a little, made him look like a kid on Christmas morning.

  “You really have to wear a retainer?” I asked, tilting my head to the side as I looked at his teeth.

  They were all pearly white, straight, and perfect.

  “Yes, I really do. Makes me drool. Not a pretty picture.”

  I laughed and rolled my eyes, as I turned on my heel and started toward the kitchen.

  “Attractive, Drake.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s the truth.”

  I laughed and set my tea on the table as I pulled out two saucepans and placed them on the stove.

  “Are you ready?”

  He nodded enthusiastically and set his can on the table as well, rocking back and forth on his heels.

  “Well, get over here,” I said, waving him over as I sidestepped toward the refrigerator. “There’s a bit to do.”

  He was by my side almost as soon as I said it, his hands behind his back as he watched me gather everything from the fridge and place the items on the counter.

  I still wasn’t entirely sure what to do with him. He seemed like he meant everything he’d said. And why would he tell me something like having to wear a retainer to bed or watching a show like Ghost Hunters—two things that would definitely hurt his popularity—if he hadn’t meant anything he’d said? I didn’t trust him, and I probably wouldn’t for a long time, but at least this was a step in the right direction.

  It had to be the right direction. I couldn’t handle the wrong one.

  There was something distinctly different when I walked into the school the next morning. Granted, it was Friday, and it always felt that way because it was just before the weekend. People were either making plans or fine-tuning the ones they already had, and there was a certain energy about the entire student body.

  I was just happy for the two days I wouldn’t have to see these people, two days I’d have the house mostly to myself while dad went golfing with his buddies, and two days to relax and just be me.

  I was in a good mood, though. I’d had a good time hanging out with Evan last night, and the high hadn’t worn off quite yet. I was still wary of him and at certain points during the night, it had been extremely awkward between us. We’d done homework while the macaroni and cheese cooked, and he’d told me that he’d asked a few of his friends to volunteer for him. We both agreed that he could do that on his own. Dad came home around six thirty again. He inhaled and hummed appreciatively before disappearing into the living room. While the night hadn’t started out that great, overall it hadn’t ended horribly, either.

  Today, however, it felt like I was walking to my doom as I stepped into the hallway and made my way to my locker. Every single person turned to look at me as I walked, and I played with a piece of my hair and kept my head down. My heart beat hard against my ribs.

  What really sealed the deal, though, was when Kyle, Evan’s best friend, stopped me in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone with his girlfriend Ashley James by his side. He looked as uncomfortable and nervous as I felt. He resembled a short pit bull with spiky blond hair, and his eyes were a beautiful deep green. Kyle’s nose had been broken a few times, the bumps prominent and something he was very proud of. Still, he was attractive, and sometimes he snorted when he laughed. His front teeth were crooked, presumably for the same reason that his nose had been broken so many times—sports. He was on the football team and the baseball team, and while I didn’t go to many games, I knew from all the other students and posters that he played hard. His loud, deep voice was hard to miss, and while he was nice to everyone he came into contact with, he mostly stayed in the same circle that Evan did.

  Kyle and Ashley had been on-again, off-again until the beginning of the school year. Now they were one of the power couples. She was beautiful—with her shoulder-length, brown hair, perky upturned nose, heart-shaped lips, and a petite but powerful body toned from years of gymnastics. She had her core group of friends, didn’t venture outside of her social circle, and had her digital camera practically glued to her hand. A moment ago, I
was sure she didn’t know I existed.

  Ashley never looked uncomfortable or nervous. Neither did Kyle for that matter, and neither of them had ever acknowledged me in front of everyone.

  “Anna, could we talk to you for a minute?” he asked, slinging an arm around my shoulders and steering me in the opposite direction.

  I thought I heard an audible gasp from everyone.

  “I have to put my books away, Kyle,” I said, trying to wiggle out from underneath his arm.

  “You can put your stuff in my locker for now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want you to walk with us.”

  I thought that either he’d lost his mind completely or there was another one of those invisible memos about me not being a diseased outcast for the day.

  “To where?”

  “Uh . . . to . . .”

  “The gym!” Ashley exclaimed, grabbing Kyle’s other arm and pulling us both in the direction of the gymnasium.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “I feel like we don’t talk enough, Anna, and I want to remedy that.”

  “Kyle, seriously, what’s going on?”

  I dug my heels into the floor and almost tripped over my own feet when Kyle kept walking. I slipped out from underneath his arm as they both turned to look at me.

  “Nothing’s going on, Anna.” Ashley laughed nervously.

  For all the confidence she seemed to ooze, I never thought she knew how to laugh nervously. It was strange and made the horrible feeling I had even worse.

  “Then why did you drag me away like that?”

  “Uh, well . . . I just thought . . . I told you. We should talk more,” Kyle stammered.

  “Let’s do it later, then. I need to put my books away.”

  I walked around both of them.

  I could still feel the stares, and I heard footsteps behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Kyle and Ashley trailing behind me, both of them looking dejected and still really nervous and uptight. Whispers were bouncing off the walls of the eerily quiet hallway as I walked, and I ran a trembling hand through my hair.

  I stopped in front of my locker and gasped. Cow was written in black marker across the top. Heifer was written vertically underneath it. Pig was written next to heifer. And in the middle was a computer-generated picture of a cow’s body with my head attached to it. I placed one hand on my throat, gently dragging my fingernails down as if that would help me breathe.